


Brink of Destruction

by Lisa Martin (LisaM)



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:35:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27661451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LisaM/pseuds/Lisa%20Martin
Summary: I've written in quite a few fandoms, but this is my first C/P story.Thanks to Agnes for the beta, 26 years and counting, sweetie.
Relationships: Chakotay/Tom Paris
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	Brink of Destruction

**Author's Note:**

> I've written in quite a few fandoms, but this is my first C/P story.  
> Thanks to Agnes for the beta, 26 years and counting, sweetie.

  


Kathryn

  


_I served with your father on the Al-Batani_

  


Talk about an opening line. If she wants me to hate her on the spot, she succeeds. Whatever makes her think I want to meet one of my father's protegees? Then she starts speaking about me doing a job for the Federation. It takes all of my willpower not to laugh out loud. Me and the Federation don't go together. Yet, something in her demenor makes me curious. I listen while we walk the grounds of the prison. Catch a Maquis ship, not just a Maquis ship, but the Crazy Horse and in the Badlands of all places. And she wants my help. I can't decide if she is deluded or just plain mad.

I can understand she wants her Security Officer back, but what she is proposing is madness. No Starfleet ship can make it through the Badlands even with me at the helm.

To my own surprise, I agree to help her. Deep down I know why, I can fly. Away from this hell hole and soar through the sky again. The temptation is too great. The fact that I will only be an observer hurts. It doesn't change my mind, I will get behind that conn console if it is the last thing I do.

  


  


Harry

  


_I don't need anyone to choose my friends for me._

  


Ah Harry. Young, green as grass Harry. Saving him from Quark was an amusing diversion, nothing more. He clearly sees it differently, follows me around like a puppy. He even laughs at my jokes. Sitting in the Mess hall he confronts me with one of the ugly parts of my past. Rumor does travel fast here. I tell him, no use lying. And then he says the unthinkable. He wants to be my friend? I watch him closely and am pleasantly surprised to see a stubborn streak in those dark eyes. I throw him a grin, but before I can say something we get a comm from the bridge.

  


_This man is my friend. Nobody touches him!_

  


Over the years,Harry and I have become close friends. He's a good guy, too good for this universe, too good for me. Yet, he sticks to me like glue. No, that's doing him an injustice. He sticks to me through hell and high water. No matter how badly I screw up, he's there for me. He's not always on my side, though. When he disagrees with me, he lets it know. Clearly, bluntly, honestly. I need that, someone who tells me the truth, no matter what. It hurts sometimes, but I know he does it because he is my friend. This friendship relieves some of the pain that is inside me, a pain even Harry has no knowledge of. It's there all the time, never leaving me.

Akritiria sets our friendship in stone. I hear him defending me through a haze of pain, physical pain in this case. I am amazed and humbled.

Although I do everything to protect this crew, for Harry, I'll go through hell and back.

  


  


B'Elanna

  


_He's a pig, and so are you._

  


Subtle, she is not. One of the first things she says to me is an insult. Granted, Gary was being a pig, he always is, I programmed him that way. So, maybe I am a pig as well. Ah well.

No matter how much she insults me, I can't really get mad at her. For one, those insults are so creative I can't help grinning. That usually makes her madder, which makes me laugh even harder.

I like her spirit, her stubbornness and the way her eyes spit fire when she's angry. There is a soft side to her too, a side she doesn't show that often. In the Vidian prison, seperated from her Klingon half, she is so vulnerable. It is then I see the same insecurity I carry in me. Not belonging, always an outcast, I can relate.

I chase her, relentlessly. She rejects me, time and time again, but I will not give up. It takes a crazy Vulcan to finally get us together. Dating her is a balancing act, I never know what awaits me. It is this challenge that keeps me going, something to occupy my mind, chasing the demons away for a while.

It isn't enough. We both know it. We try, but we won't succeed. There is too much water under the bridge, for both of us. We have our demons and they aren't defeated that easily.

I do love her, but it isn't the love I am looking for. Another defeat, another screw up. It adds to the pain.

  


Tom

  


_Tom?_

  


One word, my name, said in a soft and worried voice. A voice that has never said my name that way. I can't look at the face, I'm already teetering on the edge. A touch, gently, on my arm.

I break. The wound that has been festering for nearly all my life explodes within me.

For two days, I rage. Crying, howling, breaking everything that my hands can grab. At the end of the second day, my body gives up the fight and I sink into oblivion.

I wake up, aching all over. My throat is raw, my eyes gritty, even my hair hurts. Finally, I will my eyes to open. My sight is blurry, but I can see enough to notice I am not in Sickbay. Thank God. My mind starts coming online bit by bit and I remember what I did. Shame creeps up on me, my eyes beginning to water. I am crying again and can't seem to stop. Warmth envelops me, I lean into it. When the tears have finally run out, I fall into the darkness again.

This time waking up is less painful. I stare at the ceiling for long moments, then turn my head. I am in a bed, not my own, I am pretty sure of that. The room doesn't look familiar either. Great, my brain supplies, you fall apart in someone else's quarters. Probably destroyed part of it too. Let it be Harry's, I plead, he wouldn't mind. Not so much, anyway.

It isn't Harry's quarters. The revelation comes as the occupant suddenly steps in my line of vision. I cringe, of all the places... He doesn't say anything, merely sets a tray on the bedside table and leaves. He's angry. I would be.

Hours pass. I drift in and out of sleep. I don't eat, I don't dare. I feel so ashamed. The only thing I want is sleep, escape the world around me. I don't want to be in that world anymore, it's too much.

It's dark. The lights are out, it must be night. I stretch, surprised the ache in my muscles is almost gone. My hand touches something, no someone. The next moment, I am standing next to the bed, shaking, my legs barely holding me up. No!

I stumble in the general direction of the door, but am stopped. Arms around me, pulling me back. Let me go! I struggle, but I am too weak. I am lifted off my feet and before I know it, I am back in the bed. The mattrass dips and the arms return. “Sleep now,” a soft voice says. “You're safe.” My mind still rebels, but my body is weak. I surrender.

Safe. That's the first thought that comes when I wake up again. Safe. Not just a word, I feel it. My body feels warm and relaxed, my mind is well on its way to feel it too. For the first time in days, I can think clearly.

“Hey.”

I look beside me and smile. The relief on his face is clear to see. I know that he's the reason I am safe. The realisation isn't a surprise, I have known all along.

  


  


  


Chakotay

  


_Chakotay_

  


I smile every time I hear his name. People are sending me odd looks, I just grin back. I am back at the helm, doing what I love. I have no idea what tale they spun to explain my absence, nor do I care.

I feel good, I am healing. The pain isn't gone yet, a lifetime worth of it doesn't disappear in a week, but I am well on my way to conquer it. I have a reason to live.

As my shift ends, I make my way to his quarters. The door opens as I approach and I walk in. He is sitting in the middle of the room, meditating. I sit down too, silently. I wait, contented to just watch.

As his eyes finally open, they light up as he sees me. I move closer and reach up to touch his face.

“I love you.” 


End file.
